The Untold Truths of Post-Grad
New P.O.V.
Taking the world by storm one heel click at a time.
Photography: Monet Cavanaugh
It's been a while since I've written anything, but no time like the present. There's been a lot of changes in the air. For starters, I moved to LA three weeks ago with a job in the beauty industry while finding time for my passions. Oopsie scoopsies to the people I haven't told yet. But as much as I wish it was an easy process, it wasn't. There were many tears, setbacks, and moments of confusion about my future. There was a lot behind the scenes work I had to do professionally and emotionally to finally be in a place of contentment.
The internal battle of self-doubt was one of the most complicated challenges I had. Who would've thought my post-grad journey would turn into twists and turns? If you had told me that I would be moving to LA to work in the beauty industry while pursuing my passion as a writer, I wouldn't have believed you. Graduation felt like ages ago, and I was ready to get out into the world to become the person I wanted to be. But, except to be honest, because honesty is the best policy, I didn't know what I was doing.
Before continuing on, there are a few things you should know about me as a writer and if this is your 'cup of tea' content:
I'm an Aries which means that I can be respectfully blunt and honest
I'm always keeping it real online and IRL
This is from a lense of a young, avenue of 23-year-old; patience is not a strong suit yet
Now that I've gotten those main points out of the way, here's how my post-grad experience actually went. Just FYI, no one tells you what happens after graduation, especially in the creative field, so bear with me.
After Graduation Dibocle
Once you graduate, there's a perception of seeing people living their best lives, getting a job right after college, and thriving at all hours of the day. Except no one tells you the reality of adulthood. After college, It's pretty much a straight shot into the real world. Sure, there are ways to prepare, but ambiguity isn't one you necessarily you can prepare for. As much as I wish there was an easy step-by-step plan, life doesn't roll that way. Awareness and growth will be your best friends, especially during this time of your life.
Whether you landed your dream job or are still figuring things out, the after-college experience is a unique period of possibilities tailored to you. Everyone's experiences are different, but mine personally felt like a shitshow. I tried to handle it like a champ but felt like I was running a marathon blindfolded.
After graduation, I believed that I had a job offer for an upcoming fashion magazine. If you think this is probably too good to be true, it did not go as planned. The opportunity I worked hard to get flopped, and then I was applying every day to countless jobs. My dream to be in NYC as a writer was crushed. I didn't know what to do.
Aside from the challenges of applying to jobs, my self-esteem was low. I felt like I failed myself and my family. Most of my family members are doctors, professors, business professionals, and geniuses. Both of my parents are the first generation in my family heritage, making my younger sister and I second generation. Although my family is a more modern Asian-American household, the rules were strict and sometimes traditional.
One of my favorite examples of my family dynamic alone is when my grandfather asked my dad, 'what college do you think Mia will choose?' Keep in mind that I was three years old when he asked my dad that question. We can all agree that most three-year-olds unless they're born super-geniuses, don't know what college they want to go to, let alone make decisions. So I'm not even exaggerating about this moment; it actually happened. My dad tells that story to this day.
So just to give you an idea, my family really valued education and had high expectations. The family motto that my dad grew up with, which my younger sister and I eventually inherited, was 'A to A.' This is code for: there's no room to screw around. Only the best of the best is acceptable. This applied to grades, assignments, projects, colleges, and essential life decisions.
Now that you guys understand a snippet of the pressure I was under, it didn't make finding a job more manageable. I primarily didn't identify with the analytical side of my family because I realized early on that I'm a woman who loves the beauty, fashion, and writing spheres. No one would stop me from doing what I love (which sometimes annoyed my family, sorry, mom).
Afterward, I threw my hand into freelance work while working at Aritzia as a stylist. I wasn't as happy as I am now. But of course, I made the best of the situation and found silver linings, but the doubt was always in my mind about how I'll get to where I wanted to go. At the time, I didn't understand why this was happening. So all I kept asking myself was, how did I get to this point? What do I do next?
All in all, time was of the essence. So I made many changes in my life after graduation, with many points of uncertainty and surprises. The main lesson I learned was that comparing yourself to others will only prevent you from moving forward. Taking time for yourself is especially critical because it's a chance for new discoveries. Once I practiced that mindset, I could find hidden blessings in the situation. I didn't realize how much my life would change with the setbacks and triumphs. The Mia from 2021 isn't the same as the Mia today.
At first, when I made all those decisions, I was scared and didn't know if it was the right decision. Now, I look back and realize that everything happens for a reason. I have no regrets or what if's with my experience because that's also a choice. You can choose to be sad or angry long-term or take it as an opportunity to grow. But of course, there were moments where I had to process, but I wouldn't let that experience dictate my future. It took me time to rebuild myself, but I could bounce back, and so can you.
How I Got My Foot Into the Door
I didn't really know anyone in the industry or have these incredible connections, but I worked really hard. Sometimes not gonna lie, there were moments I wanted to give up, but it made the triumph more rewarding.
The amount of things I had to do to get an adult job, let alone an interview, boggles my mind. My favorite requirement is when applications ask for 5 years of experience in XYZ skills. Um, excuse me, ma'am, in what world would I be able to get that experience while in school and just graduated?
Please make the experiences actually something attainable and not just a ridiculous expectation @ every job posting; thank you.
Some of the tips I go by to this day:
Practice makes perfect
Get a professional to look over your cover letter and resume (it never hurts to get another opinion!)
Look at internships to fulfill the experience requirements
Be you because the passion you have for your goals will shine through
Stay consistent because your future self will thank you for it later.
It's easier said than done, but holding yourself accountable and surrounding yourself with the good things you have in your life can get you through the obstacles you're facing. It's also about listening to yourself. People can have opinions about your decisions, and believe me, I've had people doubt me before. Except here's a thought, prove them wrong.
No matter what people have to say, take it with a grain of salt. Everyone is entitled to have an opinion, but it's about which view you want to listen to. People will always insert their thoughts no matter what you do, so why not live the best life you want to have.
Once you do things for yourself while balancing your needs in a realistic sense, the world's your oyster. Take it from me; no size fits all with post-grad experiences. Making the decisions for yourself and not through the expectations of others will ease the stress and make you see things more clearly.
From those series of adjustments, it has been rewarding and quite an adventure, especially with a new job and a new beginning. For anyone going through those early adulthood setbacks, those hurdles get better with time, persistence, and fueling your energy into what you love.
Xo,
Mia